It’s been a while! I’m so happy to finally publish an article for you to read. Perfectionism is demanding, always putting everything off until tomorrow, finding things to improve…Autre#1 Le perfectionnisme Finally, if you are reading this, it is because I finally had the confidence to publish. Today we are getting together to talk about, or rather share with you, a little idea I had. A few months ago, I first posted this article in French and decided to translate it into English to allow more people to read it. I finally did, so if you are not a French speaker but still are interested in my articles, stay tuned and keep forward to the blog for new writing content and translations.
To understand
Writing is like therapy, as if all my worries disappear piece by piece with each word typed on the keyboard. Lately, we’ve been talking a lot about confidence and self-esteem together. It is a topic I like to explore because that is important to stick together and help each other with our insecurities. It should never be a shame, at least in my eyes. Talking about it has improved me a lot in my confidence; that is a kind of introspection on myself, a way to put words to my emotions.✒️
Unfortunately, little by little, my confidence has decreased at the same rate as the frequency of my articles. It is as if the two were deeply connected. Despite this, I struggled and wrote equally unsatisfactory texts. These were weeks when I was very demanding and strenuous on myself, whether it was my performance or appearance. Going around in circles, going on social networks and seeing everyone so beautiful and happy while on your side, you can’t even manage to do better or improve yourself. I went out first satisfied and then looked at the people around me and thought that finally, I am just one of many ordinary people. Procrastinating and realising that no, I will never look like that model on Instagram. I felt like I was living a lie outside of which I have no actual use.
What is the point of writing if someone else can just replace me? How would I be convinced that I am beautiful if every time I open my phone, I see pictures of more perfect people with whom I have nothing in common? I have been juggling between being happy with my loved ones with whom I do not need to put a filter and anxious on the outside for fear that others will notice my failure. I did think like that. Ultimately, I wanted to stop everything, but I did not know how. Hide, disappear? If I disappeared, would others notice? I was not even sure anymore. I know these thoughts very well; they have led me very far in the past, so it was time to get my act together as soon as possible!
At this point, I spent most of my time with friends who repeatedly pointed out my absence on the blog. It made me feel funny hearing that my writing might be missing. With so much going on on the internet, why mine? « Maybe because nobody can do it like you, it is unique », A friend once told me. The most beautiful thing to hear at that moment! Well, I first took it as flattery, then realised the truth. Several days went by, and then one evening, while thinking of all the people I love, an idea came to my mind!👩🏾🔧
The little notebook
The following day I went to town very early, with a fixed idea: buying a notebook. I found a very nice and cheap one at Hema in Lille. I also bought a cute little pen to go with it. I love the pastel colours; the size is enough to write in but not too big to fit in most of my bags.👜
Let me explain what I have in mind. The idea is to write down every little negative or self-defeating remark you may have during the day. Write them down as you think of them, as they appeared in your head and then at the end of the day, in bed or before going to bed, when you’ve finished everything you had to do and closed social media, come and reread them one by one. In the quiet, take the time to reread them. May you have filled several pages? No problem, no shame in that. Then, once you understand your insecurities, take a pen, pencil, marker or whatever and correct them. Think about what made you think that, the triggers. Ask yourself if your remark is objective or not. Write everything down in your way! It’s YOUR notebook and YOUR confidence 💛
It is funny, but as soon as I bought it I immediately wanted to call it « the I love you notebook ». Maybe because I was thinking about my loved ones when the idea came up, but in the end, it makes sense. You take it all in when you love someone, whether it’s a family member, a friend, or whatever. Of course, nobody is perfect, and they have sides, flaws or attitudes that may annoy you, but does that make you love them less? If your feelings are genuine and this person has not deliberately done anything wrong to you, this should not be the case. If you want these people around you, they are beautiful in your eyes. So why not apply this to yourself? Let’s learn to love ourselves even beyond our faults, mistakes or imperfections. Let’s be our first support!
When things go wrong, let’s try not to hurt each other anymore but rather to reach out as we would to anyone we cared about.👐
Let’s be our primary supporter
It is easier said than done, especially in an environment that can make us forget the basics. I forgot to mention if you feel like writing positive words in your notebook, you can! That is even better! It would make me so happy if everyone who reads this article did not have to do it or ended up writing nice things!
A big thank you to you for reading me! I am so glad I finally had the strength to publish, especially about this! It gives me so much courage to face the rest. I am sorry for the perhaps a bit rough aspect of my writing, I did not want to distort my ideas for the sake of form, so it is probably less readable than usual. 😉
Do not hesitate to share with me your lovely notebooks if you make one yourself or your opinion on the article! See you soon for another article.
~Livelyxia~ 